MANGLE YOUR WAY TO
Getting to the top is easier than
you may think.
Some of us just have no idea how to get there.
If, for example, you want to really
get to the top as a politician, a sports commentator
or even a sportstar-cum-philosopher, all you have
to do is confuse the hell out of people.
To this effect, you need to master
the art of mangling.
The verb mangle is listed in the dictionary
tr.v. man·gled, man·gling,
1. To mutilate or disfigure by battering, hacking, cutting,
2. To ruin or spoil through ineptitude or ignorance: mangle
The second meaning is the one you need
Mangle a speech, mangle a statement, and soon you too
will be at the top of your game.
About two weeks ago, Iafrica listed the
results of a poll to find the top ten manglers.
I agree with George W Bush taking first
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful and so
are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm
our country and our people, and neither do we."
On my personal list of favorites he also
takes second prize for:
"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate
what I believe and what I believe — I believe what
I believe is right."
The Terminator comes in at a very close
During his 2003 election campaign, the bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned-California
governor Schwarzenegger, informed the American public:
"I think that gay marriage should be between a man
and a woman."
Others who made my list are:
Murray Walker, motor racing commentator:
"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the
one behind it which is identical."
French footballer-cum philospher Eric
"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because
they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."
London mayor Boris Johnson, on the British
gameshow "Have I Got News for You":
"I could not fail to disagree with you less."